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I have had no form lately. No way to move ideas past fleeting images and pass them through to paper. It's not that I have been unfocused but rather my thoughts seem to be deriving from an extreme-concentration driving on, continuing on. With that close in mind I cannot stop to write. If I do stop the thoughts continue and there is no hope for me to remember. My mind does not remember. Which may be the only kindness to myself. The beauty of forgetting is that you can see something anew each time you see it. I walked through the streets today as a tiger. This jungle was my domain and I had a presence. One that people feared and I questioned whether, in the jungle, the instinct of survival would be so strong and necessary that I can succeed in any endeavor. Realizing that by doing so I had people at my command and that perhaps this is the way that I should live. This jungle is not easy. I searched for the commonality between myself and the other tigers. Some think the commonality is the pain of life that this is a condition of the tiger. Some think that it is our existence and our ability to influence one another. But I know better. I know that it is only that we are alive and even that can be questioned. I find myself tense from the hunting. My shoulders began to ache and I was feeling more pretentious than superior. That is when it hit me "I was hunting but was not hungry." Hunting without hunger is more like fear and a tiger does not fear. He is relaxed and confident and when he needs to hunt he is not tense but focused. Can I possibly be a tiger and do what I want in this jungle without stepping on another tigers paw. Why should I even worry about their paws? These are my thoughts as I size up the other tigers. I move on when they are fiercer and stand strong when I was the force that they should fear. When I view the human species I see them in one of two ways. 1. looking for attention in anyway they can get. This gives them confidence that what they are doing is valid and worthy. This gives them the attention they need from the acceptance of others to continue on and this leads them deep into the oceans, deep into the paws of a tiger because they are not trusting their own instincts but the encouragement of others. This keeps them on top of the other human's at least all those that are in agreement and accept this. I see this pattern growing stronger and stronger while people are learning of larger and greater ways to gain attention. More intelligent abilities to gain attention on a smaller scale as well. These can range from large scale publication to loud voices in an enclosed space. 2. When they are not working towards attention or rather when someone else has it and they need to steal some back to them the humans are jealous of another’s traits. Usually in the form of holding a mirror for the other person and turning their qualities in contempt as if they are a failure to the person. Secretly each is admiring that trait, that characteristic. Others will bring this out in the form of flattery and kindness and openness. This too, is a work of art for bringing the attention back to them for their virtues. Nobody is safe from the tiger. No human body wrapped up in this warped social setting is able to stabilize and not fall into the paws of the tiger. So striped and orange. The menacing clown like appearance of the face. But when the tigers teeth are pressing firmly on their jugular, the human quickly realize that the game is not played by their terms but at the terms of nature and in nature there is not king. Only presence.

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